The world's least intimidating gang

Show 50 - The Big One

This was the original in-studio appearance by the Cock Brothers Team and the one where it all went down. Oral and Billie appeared on TSM Radio back in December and things got heated. Finally, we break down what "really went down."

Show 50 - Clip 1 - Fuck Jamie Kennedy

• 

  CBT killed me
  CBT appearance = parental guidance warning, a first for TSM Radio
• Stu Stone introduces the Fuck Jamie Kennedy track - plays coy about not knowing the origin or even content of the track, but he of course is intimately familiar with it and The CBT - The Cock Brothers are standing right there, after all
• This "Fuck Jamie Kennedy" is NOT the original track released that garnered the press coverage - that one was over eight minutes long, only featured Billie Buttsex on one verse, and was done over commercial instrumentals (Clipse - Mr. Me Too, Brandy - Full Moon, Nelly - Grillz, Fugees - The Mask, Diplomats - Dipset Anthem, Lil' Flip - Game Over, Pharoahe Monch - Simon Says) - this one is just three or so minutes, is half Billie and half Oral B, and is CBT home-grown (and a one-day mix)

Show 50 - Clip 2 - Gay Doesn't Always Mean Happy

• 

  Take off your pants
  TSM gay man Josh doesn't want Jamie Kennedy on the gay team - this is understandable: Kennedy just doesn't take care of himself at all. TSM gay man Josh does want to stare at Oral and Billie throughout the show - also understandable: The Cock Brothers do
• Fun fact: Stu Stone a closeted gay hip hop fan (oh the irony). If that boy ever wanted to go gay, he would CLEAN UP - andthatsmymotherfuckingwordfamily
• Less fun fact: it is confirmed by Gay Josh that Jamie Kennedy loves calling people faggot/fag/queer. Peter Grumbine was right (and so was The CBT, obviously) - Grumbine's "I Killed Kennedy"" article is a fascinating/entertaining/disturbing read
• Even LESS fun fact: The Smirnoff Ice website doesn't even advertise the Mandarin Orange flavor that the CBT enjoyed in the studio even though it does feature the Arctic Berry, Watermelon, Black Cherry, Raspberry, Green Apple, and Wild Grape varieties - WHAT THE FUCK?!

Show 50 - Clip 3 - The Hills Do Not Have Brains

• 

  We're smart
  It all goes downhill from here. Two clowns from the MTV reality show "The Hills" who were guests earlier on the broadcast are brought into the CBT discussion. One of them is very loud and very drunk and (very) obnoxious - the other is quiet and seemingly high and not nearly as bad. They are there with friends to discuss the movie they're trying to make called "Two Dudes and a Dream" - seriously
• Out of nowhere the loud one starts literally jumping up and down, screaming about how The CBT is the worst thing he's ever heard - this is coming from a guy 10x cornier than an Orville Redenbacher dump (R.I.P.). People interested in just how eye-rollingly bad and unfunny this guy is should listen to the entire show 50 which is archived on the TSM site (sorry, it is just too painful to have to wade through to cut up for The CBT website)
• 

  Pay attention to me!!!
  While this "The Hills" character surely fancies himself as shocking, the only truly shocking thing about this guy's appearance is that he DOES NOT bust out the Austin Powers impersonations. Professionals that they are, the CBT silently and respectfully endured The Hills and friends segment even though it made them throw up in their mouths a little. It is only after the tall one spazzes out (apparently believing the CBT to have insulted his friend and collaborator Nic Nac) that things get ugly
• As Oral B states during the show, there will be no dis track about the guy from The Hills. While there are a surplus of reasons for this, it is enough that a song entitled

  "Fuck That Guy from The Hills. Oh, well, The Hills is an MTV reality show. Well, it might be an MTV2 show, I'm not really sure, but regardless, it's a spinoff of Laguna Beach. Well, Laguna Beach was an MTV reality show - actually, it still might be on. I know there were at least two seasons of Laguna Beach, but whatever, Laguna Beach was/is a show about slutty, vapid high school kids who hang out at the beach and drink and fuck each other and get involved in 'drama' and talk in self-important tones about nothing all of the time. It's a pretty great in that horrible sort of way and I did really love that Kristin - what a wonderfully evil bitch! Anyway, it did well enough and costs nothing to produce so they made another one that takes place in The (Hollywood) Hills, and THAT is the 'The Hills' I'm talking about. OK? Good, so, yeah, Fuck That Guy from The Hills. Which guy? Jesus, I don't know, the loud and obnoxious one who constantly mugs for the camera. They're ALL loud and obnoxious and constantly mugging for the camera?? COME ON! OK, OK, how about Fuck The TALL Loud and Obnoxious Guy Who Constantly Mugs for The Camera on The Hills. Oh, I don't know, at least 6-foot two. Hold on a second. OK, just go to the IMDB and look up the Hills. 'The Hills' followed by 2006 in parentheses - right, right. Now click on that link and find the guy who writes his own biography, trivia, and personal 'inspirational' quotes. He'll be the one with more quotes than credits. OK, you got him? Good - OK, so it turns out he's six-foot four. OH WAIT, that's not right: he's six-foot four AND A HALF! I'm not kidding - seriously, yes - one-half - look for yourself - ha ha. OK, so that guy, THAT is the guy I'm talking about - him. OK? So, yeah, Fuck THAT Guy from The Hills"

  would never fit on a playlist.

• 

  Why am I here?
  Lady friend Lou Dawson is also in-studio - what a lovely person - she is now officially "CBT Fam"
• The gay friend of The Hills and the director of their movie-thing wants to yell at The CBT too. He is also drunk but also very hyper. And he REALLY seems to think that 'disreality' is a word - hopefully he sobered up before incorporating it into a tattoo.
• The director guy also seems to think that because he is gay he can tell the CBT that their opinion doesn't matter. The tenet of his argument is that artists and people in general have no right to critique/criticize anyone else's art/work. "What gives you the right to have an opinion?!?!" This jives with The Hills guys' belief that no one should ever "judge" anyone else's work - people not "judging" others' work is why we have The Hills in the first place! This whole shit show would have been funny if it hadn't been SO LOUD (OK, it was still pretty funny.)

Show 50 - Clip 4 - Bologna

• 

  The meat is fine
  It turns that it is quite difficult to properly answer questions and calmly get your point across when people won't stop interrupting/screaming at you. Given that, here is the world's most concise answer to the oft-asked question, "Why Jamie Kennedy?" 'straight' from Oral B:

  We heard the Jamie Kennedy song 'Bologna' and thought it sucked and wasn't funny. The humor is below childish and the stupid, lisping middle-school portrayal of a gay man is just tired and probably as unfunny today as it was back in 1983 when Gallagher was doing it. But these are not the reasons we dissed him. We dissed him because he uses the slur 'faggots' while simultaneously cultivating a family-friendly and cuddly image. People ask why we don't go after other rappers and entertainers who say 'faggot' or things like it and the answer is that we aren't on a crusade to go bring down every person who says those types of things. What happened was that we heard that Jamie Kennedy was trying to rap, heard him rapping and thought it was horrible, then heard him rapping pretending to be gay and it thought it was even worse, and then heard him say 'faggots' and decided that we had had enough. We didn't dis him because we were offended or because he enraged us, we dissed him because we don't think that heteros should be using words like 'faggots' as he did and we wanted shred that carefully-crafted lovable image he markets. Oh, and we did it because it was fun to clown him.

• 

  wish he brought the dog
  At some point, the high Hills guy gets up demanding a microphone. What can be heard following him taking the mic is, well, absolutely nothing. But what could be SEEN in person is what he proceeded to do after gaining the undivided attention of the everyone at the studio: absolutely nothing. He stared at the assembled, grabbed his face/head a couple of times, took a breath as if planning something big and then ... nothing. Stu Stone speculated that the guy was preparing to rap battle the CBT. To this very day, the CBT awake each morning and thank The Lord Jesus Christ that they were spared what one can only imagine would have been an absolute lyrical decimation.
• In a discussion about controversial words, everyone in the studio (outside of The CBT) was afraid to utter those words. It is the opinion of the CBT that serious discourse is hindered when using baby talk like 'n-word' and 'f-word', particularly in the case of discussing the power of specific words and implicitly reducing their power by being afraid to utter them to which death would have been preferable.

Show 50 - Clip 5 - Good Night and Good Luck

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  Stu Stone - good guy
  The gay Hills friend guy comes back for more epic smackdowns - haha. This guy would be a beast of an opponent on Password
  (Editor's note: no idea what that last part means)
• Stu mentions that he had much more he could have said but does not say why he did not say those things. Stu, you're not just a host, you're part of the discussion, join in next time. Hopefully we'll all unanswered questions will be answered during the next CBT in-studio appearance coming to soon(ish) to a podcast near you ...

Show 51 - The Half As Big One

One week later and with the CBT safely out of the studio, the TSM guys discuss their program's most controversial episode EVER

Show 51 - Clip 1 - Olé

• The morning (week) after, TSM broadcasts live from Gay Josh's NEW restaurant. Wait, this Josh guy owns multiple restaurants? Looks like the CBT needs to network better in the future.

Show 51 - Clip 2 - If You Scared, Say You Scared

Git up, git out
• "You were scared, I WAS SCARED!" Classic!
• Gay Josh cowardly backpedals saying now that he isn't at all fond of the CBT (check the second clip from show 50 to hear otherwise). But don't worry, Josh, the CBT ain't mad at you. After all, the boyz still made some progress getting you to reveal your dislike of Jamie Kennedy's gay antics, and that seems to have earned you a stern talking to from Kennedy. So, it seems that Gay Josh took one for the CBT in the end (yes homo)

Show 51 - Clip 3 - Jamie Kennedy Calls People Fags (Surprise, Surprise)

• Why does Jamie Kennedy perpetually sound (and look) like a drunk waking up to high noon passed out in the middle of the street?
• 

  Galifianakis a bear?
  To Kennedy's credit, he doesn't actually say bad word one about the CBT (calling the Cock Brothers 'gay' is not an insult, it is a statement of fact). This makes sense since even Jamie Kennedy has to know that he doesn't want it lyrically or otherwise with the CBT - a savvy move by a Hollywood vet
• Given that Jamie Kennedy's closest friends have already conceded as much, it comes as no surprise to find/hear Kennedy calling people 'fags' and 'queers.' But what Jamie still fails to realize is that there exists a between a heterosexual saying 'fag' and not being funny and a heterosexual saying 'fag' and actually being funny. To see a case of the latter, enjoy this clip featuring the funny Zack Galifianakis and the very funny Michael Showalter

Show 54 - You've Got Male